When you are between what was and what comes next
A reflection on not rushing yourself through uncertain territory
Hiya,
There are times when something in life is changing, but the next shape of things is not clear yet.
Perhaps a role, relationship, routine, hope or plan has shifted. Perhaps you have made a decision, but are still living with its consequences. Perhaps you know something can no longer stay as it was, but you do not yet know what comes next.
This in-between place can be uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
There can be a pressure to find the answer quickly.
To know what the change means. To make a plan. To feel positive about it. To explain it to other people. To have worked out who you are on the other side. To do something.
But not every change needs an immediate answer, or action.
Some things need time to settle.
In this post
You’ll find:
a reflection on the pressure to rush through uncertainty;
permission for the in-between to be unfinished;
a small practice for meeting this moment with a little more kindness.
You can read it now, or save it for a day when you feel caught in the discomfort coming from uncertainty.
The pressure to know
When we are in the middle of change, uncertainty can make us want to reach for certainty wherever we can find it.
Sometimes that looks like making a quick decision just to stop the discomfort of not knowing.
Sometimes it looks like asking everyone else what they think, hoping that another person can give us the answer we cannot yet find for ourselves.
Sometimes it looks like putting pressure on ourselves to be more resilient, more ready, or more certain than we really are.
I know this from my own life right now.
I recently moved to a new house in a new city. We are slowly renovating, so there are boxes unpacked, a few corners that need paint, and a garden screaming for attention.
There have been mornings when I stand in the kitchen and feel that familiar tightening: the urge to sort, decide, get it all finished. As though if I just make the ‘right’ plan, the in-between will end. But it does not work like that. The settling happens at its own pace.
But uncertainty is not always a sign that something has gone wrong. It may simply mean that you are still in the middle of a process. You are allowed to be there.
The middle is part of the journey
We often talk about endings and new beginnings.
But there is another place too: the middle.
The place after something has changed, but before the next chapter feels fully formed.
It can be a tender place. It may hold grief, relief, fear, hope, tiredness or several feelings at once.
You do not need to rush past those feelings in order to move forwards.
And you do not need to turn every uncertain moment into a lesson straight away.
Sometimes the kindest thing is simply to acknowledge:
Something is changing. I do not have all the answers yet. I can still meet myself with care here.
A small practice for the uncertain middle
If you are living with a change that still feels unfinished, you might give yourself a few quiet minutes with these questions.
You could write your answers down, think them through while you walk, or simply let a word or two come to mind. There is no need to find the perfect answer.
What is changing for me right now?
What do I already know, even a little?
What does not need to be decided today?
What might make this in-between feel a little kinder this week?
Your answer may be practical.
It might be giving yourself more time before a decision. Asking for help. Saying no to something non-essential. Letting a plan stay unfinished for another few days. Returning to one small part of your day that feels familiar.
It might also be emotional: allowing yourself to miss what was, to feel unsure, or to acknowledge that you are not completely fine.
None of this means you are stuck.
It may simply mean that you are allowing the next step to emerge at a more honest pace.
In case you need a permission slip
You do not have to know the whole path in order to take the next kind step.
You do not have to force clarity before it is ready.
And you do not have to become a different person in order to meet what is changing.
For now, perhaps it is enough to remember:
The uncertain middle is part of the journey too.
If you are living with a season of change or uncertainty right now, and would find it helpful to have a gentle space to sort through it, A Kindful Path could offer that 1:1 support.
These sessions are not about fixing things quickly. They are about meeting yourself with care, without the pressure to have it all figured out.
💌 If you think this post might be useful for somebody else, feel free to share it.
Warmly,
Pili
The messy middle is where we learn the most :)